A Father’s Perspective

April 12th, 2018 we expected the birth of our second child; our baby girl Sydney Jane. On April 5th, exactly one week from our due date, I received a phone call I pray I never receive again. My mom called from the hospital and told me to rush to the hospital as soon as possible. I began praying immediately that nothing happened to My Girls; my wife or my daughter, but I ran to my car and quickly began the trip. It was 4:15pm and rush hour on the main interstate through Huntsville was starting to back up. By God’s Grace I made a trip that normally takes 30 to 45 minutes, in 10 minutes flat.

As I walked into the office the nurses immediately rushed me to the back hallway where they do ultrasounds and I met my crying wife sitting on the table. It took two words spoken by my wife to change everything in our world in a split second; No Heartbeat.

I don’t remember speaking, sitting, or even breathing for the next hour or so. I arrived at the hospital before 4:30pm, but we didn’t return to our car until almost 6:00pm. Now usually our car is a karaoke jam from point A to point B as we both love music and singing, but there was no noise and no sound in the car at this point. Music didn’t play for another 2 weeks, until I returned to work.

The next part I remember after leaving the doctor’s office is when our pastor called as we pulled out of the parking lot. I don’t remember what he said, but I remember that as he prayed with us the thought that this isn’t a dream; it’s going to be the rest of our lives from that moment on. The entire ride home it was just my wife and I in the car so we held hands and cried the whole way home.  Of course all of the tears came from our sudden loss, but honestly it was more from confusion and praying for a miracle or that the doctors were all wrong.

Arriving back home we went straight to the rooms and just sort of collapsed on the bed where we slowly packed clothes. At that point we lived with my parents, so we had planned to have Sydney and place her in our room with us for the first little while until we could find a house. We had already moved most of our clothes to another closet in the house and had placed everything from newborn through 3 months in our closet.

We also had the bed side baby bed ready and other baby items sitting in our room. So pushing past all the new baby items and trying to pack our items became even harder as you grab the newborn onesie and now realize it will never be worn, or spit up on, or used. With packed bags we were headed back to the hospital for a night and weekend that held no answers and no hope for our family or future.

My wife and I are both believe in God, but at this point in our lives everything seemed hopeless. Why did this happen to us? Why now? Why would He take away our daughter? What good could this ever bring to anyone? We simply couldn’t understand the purpose or reason as to why any of this happened. Keep following and find out how these questions are answered as our story continues next time on A Friend in Need.

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