I’m sorry my blogging has been sporadic. I never realized how difficult it would be to get all my thought into writing!
Tonight I want to talk about alcohol and why I tend to stay away from it. First of all there is one probably very obvious reason why I say no. I take medications that can be adversely affected by alcohol. This is NOT a blog about why I think drinking is wrong, because I don’t think it is!
Before I met Jeremy I was in a very toxic relationship with a black out alcoholic. If you know me well you know that I can be quite a push over and a shrinking violet when it comes to conflict. This guy was everything in a relationship that I did not need. He had gotten kicked out of the military due to his alcoholism. (I didn’t find this out until after our relationship ended.) I remember early in our relationship I had tried to draw a line in the amount he was drinking. I was 19 and while I had had drinks before I didn’t drink in excess. I’m just not fond of the taste and I don’t like the way it makes me feel. Anyway, one night I could smell alcohol on his breath and yet again I confronted him and he promised me he would cut it out. I take promises very seriously so to say I was devastated when I got a call from his sister telling me he had gotten fired from his job for drinking on the job and I needed to come pick him up is an understatement. There is a lot I have blocked out from this relationship, but I vividly remember this night. I picked him up and I completely let him have it. While we were driving down a major highway he decides to start climbing out of my Civic and proceeds to run down the side of the road. (By the way this guy is 6’7″) I finally get him back in my car and to the parking lot of my apartment. The next thing I know he is out of my car, punches the back windshield out of the car parked next to me with his bare fist), and is running around my apartment complex completely blacked out. Luckily someone heard the commotion and called the police. The police arrived relatively quickly and I still remember sitting in a Hoover’s Finest SUV thinking of ways that I could “save” this man.
I think this night was probably the first time my mom ever came to my rescue and I had full appreciation for her being there! It’s not that I wasn’t thankful for her before, but this time I just needed her. She helped me see that I didn’t NEED a man and I definitely didn’t need to take care of or save a man who couldn’t even show me respect. She made me realize that had I gotten out of my car 5 seconds before I did that car windshield could have been me.
That was a long story to get to my point. I don’t mind drinking and I definitelydon’t mind being around you if you are drinking. However, if I begin to feel uncomfortable in a situation where drinking is involved I tend to flee because I have major anxiety due to the story above.